Me Time

Sitting in an internet cafe on my own, with the morning sun not yet strong enough to dispel the mist sitting on the distant hills. The sounds of the staff clattering in the kitchen are occasionally strong enough to break through the music which is just perfect for this moment. I am drinking a smooth cup of coffee exactly to my liking and have in front of me a delicious bowl of creamy white yoghurt drizzled with honey and scattered with strawberries, kiwi fruit, blueberries and raspberries. I have just been for a swim and my hair is still damp, my cheeks their slightly embarrassing pink tinge and my whole body aches a little after my characteristically vigourous effort. This is what I have been yearning for for around three weeks. Space.

When the children are awake, it’s different. I don’t know why and consequently can’t really explain to hubby why time on my own or with a friend is qualitatively better when the children are awake. Maybe it’s because I feel awake. Maybe it’s just that they are making demands, but not on me. My mind is not filled with…”Right, laundry on, now breakfast, Iona, porridge or weetabix? with raisins or banana? (repeat ad nauseaum until she decides to stop whatever she has become engrossed in for long enough to reply) Please don’t wrap that around your sister’s neck, she is not a dog. Yes, Eden, it’s coming, the fact that your weetabix is in the microwave means you’ll like it better. Right, breakfast, juice, breadsticks so Eden doesn’t have a small fit at the fact that she’s not constantly doing something. Bite for Eden bite for Eden, Iona could you stop talking and put something in your mouth, oops, nearly forgot me, oh no I didn’t the whole bowl’s been eaten, so much for savouring my food. Ok facecloth, wipe girls, table, Iona take your bowl to the kitchen, I know you dont want to but you’re so good at it and it’s so helpful for mummy, here you go, no get up, you are taking it, here you go. Thank you so much, yes of course you can take mine too.Right now, toilet, coat, oops-teeth-bags, out the door….” and so it goes on. Here in the coffee shop I can stop my brain from planning the next minute,hour,nap, bath, sleep. Someone else is talking to them… 

 …as it happens, someone else was letting Eden eat Play-Doh… oh well – NON TOXIC is emblazoned all over the pots, and we needed some  more anyway.