A few days ago I was asked to pray for a young woman. We met over coffee and she told me her story. She struggled with low self-esteem and lacked in confidence. She wrestled with issues condemning herself for the lack of ability to rely on God. As I listened God began to show me my own journey…
…Sometimes I, too, struggle with low self-esteem. I too, wish I had more confidence in myself, relying on God more in my everyday life… And yet, I just knew something has changed…
Although I grew up in a loving Christian home, life ‘threw’ some though times at me. As a teenager my trust was shattered when I was abused by couple of people I greatly respected. I let those circumstances influence how I felt and those emotions dictated my actions.
Time passed. I got myself together, went through some wrong relationships… And felt like I wasn’t worth much…
And then, 5 years later, sitting on my bed, reading through some college notes, God took me back, to those painful, lonely moments. He did it for a purpose. I needed to understand the lessons He wanted me to learn, so that He could move me forward. What I didn’t realised was that God had been there with me, in the hurt and emotions of those times. “I was there…I was crying with you…” And that very moment He changed my life! I met God the Father, and learned about his Heart. Isaiah 63:11 says: “The Lord has made proclamation to the ends of the earth: ‘Say to the Daughter of Zion, See, your Saviour comes!… and you will be called Sought After, the City No Longer Deserted.’” He healed from the pain I had been carrying, but there was so much more He wanted me to learn.
Yes, it was tough but I had to learn that God doesn’t want me to stay in my brokenness. That’s not His nature. He lifted me up and gave me His Word. And it was up to me, whether I would make His Word my reality! And slowly, over the years I have learned to choose the Word. The Word which gives Life and lifts me up: out of my feelings, my bad experiences, my expectations.
I love the first 2 verses of Colossians 3: “Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
We girls are so often dissolutions by our own feelings and emotions. We focus our eyes on our earthly reality, our human abilities or lack of them, our expectations. It is so easy to get ‘bogged down’ and lose focus. What I have learned so far is that, God presents me with Heavenly opportunities and He needs me to have a Heavenly perspective on my life, so that I can step into the plans He has for me, plans to give me hope and future. (Jer.29:11)
Thank you so much Ags for your honesty. Its a real inspiration to see the learning that has come from experiences in your past. You words have real wisdom, and there’s no doubt that God will use that to encourage others. You’re great!!