Acts 1:8. But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses…
Recently I studied Franciscan Spirituality, starting with the man himself, Saint Francis of Assisi. He was a man out of the box, and his example led to a monastic movement that spanned centuries. He was spontaneous, going with the flow of the Holy Spirit.
Saint Francis and his disciples experienced the Spirit in powerful ways that words can barely contain. Caught in an ecstasy, a trance, the team would be found lying on the ground like dead mean after encountering the Spirit’s power. Saint Francis did not consider these experiences as something higher than his doctrines, but saw that they enhanced his relationship with Jesus. His life was prayer, and he lived welcoming the Holy Spirit’s direction and expected him to show up.
During the break I needed to get out of the classroom and get some air. Under the glare of the Phoenix sun, I said what my heart had been bursting to say throughout the class.
“I miss you Holy Spirit. I miss you”
Francis of Assisi’s life reminded me of my university days. Days when I woke up and asked God to lead me, and I’d end up at a stranger’s house sharing Jesus. Nights when I prayed without ceasing. When I got lost in the Bible for hours and I wanted to be there. Times when I saw the God’s power in ways that years later, I still don’t get.
There were ample weaknesses too. At times I was something of a whack job, living a fine line between intensity and legalism. Sometimes it was a mask for my drivenness and insecurity. I burned myself a few times as my prophetic words turned out to be wishful thinking. That hurt.
I grew up, matured, perhaps acquired a semblance of respectability. I didn’t change my theology, by any means, but there were different emphases. Maybe I got a little less available. Then I simply got busy, married, young children, busy, routine type busy. Such a different life. And yet.
I don’t want or need to go back to where I was. But I’m challenged through St. Francis life to love more passionately, to be more available to the Holy Spirit in everyday life. I’m looking forward to seeing what I’m missing.
