As a mom I am constantly aware that I model EVERYTHING to my children. Some days it bites me in the butt, depending on what lovely phrases I hear come out of their mouths. Other days I feel like I’m doing a great job, especially when I hear my kids say things like, “Jesus painted that beautiful sunset. Thank you Jesus.”
The part of modeling I am feeling the most challenge in currently is how do I take care of myself. This has also led to examining what was modeled to me in my lifetime, which may be another entry on another day. But how do we take care of ourselves??? What does healthy selfish look like? I am still coming to terms with how those two words can even coexist in the same sentence.
Whether you are a “mother” or not, you are mothering someone. Someone, somewhere is watching how you live and looking up to you for answers. So how do you model to others that you are taking care of yourself? Do you consciously make an effort to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Do you plan activities, or a lack of activities, into your schedule to be sure you are taken care of, or do you come last on your list every time?
I have caught myself many a time taking the backseat to everyone else. Then I realized I wasn’t so happy in a few areas of my life. Yet I chose, yes I CHOSE, to play the role of martyr rather than seek out help for myself. Finally, once I got sick of that role, I chose to take care of myself. I planned time with girlfriends. I scheduled family walks and trips to the zoo. I talked with a counselor. I found ways to be creative, since that’s what gives ME life. And I found ways to help other people, while helping myself. I love to organize. So I found a friend who didn’t have time to sort through things for a yard sale (boot sale) and helped out.
I also stopped putting up with things I had put up with before. My two toddlers no longer got what they wanted when they whined. Suddenly mommy went deaf, or so they thought, and could only hear BIG words. I stopped being the person in control of everything, and gave control away, where I didn’t need it.
There are other ways we all take care of ourselves. I would love to see and hear feedback from others out there as to how you do that. I know I could use some new ideas and I know God’s given a lot of us different creativity on how to take care of ourselves. So please leave your comments, long or short. And please contribute, whether you are a mom or not, female or not.
How do you take care of yourself??? What does healthy selfish look like for you?
I just stumbled across this post ‘by accident’ (haha)I have been thinking about this very topic recently – I have a 21 month old and he is amazing, yet having him has caused physical problems for me that are still ongoing and require regular physiotherapy and medication to control the pain. I have been selfishly frustrated over the two years I have had this problem, and my way of coping has often been to ‘carry on as though everything is okay’… this has not helped at all!! I know that I need a lot of rest and to make my exercises a priority if I want to function as a wife and mother to to bring the most glory to God and to the best of my ability – to ignore the problem is not a wise response!
Thank you for this thought-provoking article!