God’s timing is perfect and while we may not understand why things aren’t happening when we want them to, they always happen in His time.  And if we can keep listening for his direction and timing then we get to see how awesome His plan is.

Too often we get scared and force things to happen.  Sometimes this can lead to some good but I find I’m left feeling like it wasn’t God at all, just me.

Sarah and Abraham got scared.  Sarah gave Abraham her servant Hagar to father a child with, since God wasn’t moving fast enough for her.  The result was a son, who was blessed, but was not the son of the true blessing.  How many times have I read this story and thought how crazy they were for not trusting God and waiting on Him, yet here I am in a situation which forces me to wait and I get impatient and want to “fix it.”  I want the control.  I want to get moving.  I want.  I want.  I want.

My prayer is that these circumstances will happen less and less often as I learn to trust.  Guess we’ll wait and see.

Lord, help me to trust in you and your timing, not my own erred self.  Grant me patience, strength, wisdom, and an ear to hear your voice, as I travel through life with you.  Amen.

Genesis 16

• What are you afraid of?
• Where do you need to let go of control in your own life?
• Where is God calling you to trust in Him more?

I will never forget the day I was chatting with a mentor and she simply asked me if I was being convicted in a particular situation or condemned.  Up until that point, I had always believed the two terms were interchangeable.  I had always felt guilty about everything.  That was the first time I ever stopped to think about it.

She led me further down the thought process to explain that there is no condemnation through Christ and that Christ was sent to save the world, not to condemn it.  So often I had found myself in a trap of being condemned, or even condemning myself, for things that God was not convicting me of.  Up until that day, I hadn’t stopped to ask God if he was convicting me.  I simply assumed the guilty feelings meant he was.

So much freedom came from that conversation.  I now regularly and even without thinking, stop and ask myself if this is God’s conviction or satan’s condemnation.  I repeat scriptures to myself to remind me God does not condemn me, and then I move on.  Do I sin?  Absolutely.  Every day.  We all do. (Rom 3:23)  Yet now I know I can do my best and allow God to be the guide in my life and allow his truths to lead me, not my feelings, emotions and former habits.

The brief question I now ask myself is… “Is this God convicting me or condemnation from myself, others or satan”?  And if it’s still a bit hazy I continue to pray that God’s voice would be clear to my ears and only His voice.

I cannot even begin to describe the freedom that has come from this discovery.  I can only pray that God reveals to you what his conviction is and how to listen more closely to it, while he also deafens the enemy’s condemnation.

I’ve found it very helpful to place the following scriptures in places I will see them often.  (And on occasion I’ve been known to write them on my mirrors in dry erase markers, which typically clean off very easily, but check them first, as always.)

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…  Romans 8:1 (New International Version)

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.  Romans 8:1,2  (The Message)

The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.  Psalm 34:22

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  John 3:17

I have never had to go a day without food, or even a meal, yet at times I’ve wondered if God would keep providing.  Any bill I have ever needed to pay has been paid on time, yet I wonder if the next bill will be met.  What is it about humans that causes us to forget so easily all the times God has been faithful?

I remember hearing stories of Moses and the Israelites.  I often wondered how they could want to go back to Egypt or how they could start worshipping another god.  And yet I see similarities in my own life now.  What about this move?  Will there be a house?  Friends?  Provisions?  The answer is yes, yes, and yes.

God is faithful.  He can’t not be faithful, even when we are faithless.  It’s who He is.  So, I write this article to encourage you that He will be faithful and also to remind myself.  Now next week, or next month, when my fears start to get a hold of me, I can pull this up, read it again and remember God has never left me or forsaken me.  He has always provided for me and my family.  He has always had plans to prosper us and not to harm us.  He knows me better than I know myself.  And He knows my heart better than I do.  He will be faithful, o ye of little faith.

As a challenge, even if you don’t keep a journal, write down 5 ways God has shown his faithfulness to you.  Then when your fears start to take hold, get out your list and remember God is faithful.

Some scriptures about God’s faithfulness.

2 Timothy 2:13

1 Thessalonians 5:24

2 Thessalonians 3:3

Psalm 111:7

Psalm 33:9

1 Corinthians 1:9

Hebrews 10:23

I know we have all been in a situation where we have struggled to find something to be thankful for. On one particular Friday evening, I found myself sitting in the Emergency Room, holding a crying, scared Ben in my arms. He had just fallen face first into the coffee table, which resulted in oral trauma, which is how the nurses labeled him.

As I sat in that emergency room, waiting our turn, I heard God ask what I was thankful for. I wanted to scream I was so frustrated, but instead I chose to stop and think. I was thankful my parents could watch Liam, while we raced off to the hospital with Ben. I was thankful Ben’s injury was not life threatening. I was thankful he didn’t need stitches and hadn’t lost any teeth. I was thankful God’s created me to be a pretty even keel person, so I could remain calm and help Ben and my husband remain calm. And so I sat thinking of my list, feeling pretty pathetic about some of the small things I was thankful for, but realizing these small things led to larger things that I was thankful for.

I soon began to observe my attitude had changed. I was no longer as scared and frightened, but more able to trust that God was in control. He knew the day I had just lived. He knew what I needed right then. I was thankful He could meet my every need, Ben’s every need, my family’s every need. I had become genuinely thankful.

Being thankful is a discipline. The more you practice being thankful, the sooner you’ll catch yourself not being thankful the next time.

Reflection:

Where are you right now? Are you enjoying life?

Have you stopped to thank God for what he has given you today?

Maybe your situation is one you don’t feel thankful for. Will you choose to stop and think of what you could be thankful for?

Maybe your situation feels so raw at the minute you can’t feel anything. Wherever you are, choose to turn your focus onto Christ and listen to what He is saying to you.

Below are some scriptures to start you on your journey towards an attitude of thankfulness:

• 1 Cor 1:9
• Hebrews 7:25
• Romans 8:34
• Psalms 75:3; 34:18; 55:22; 139; 103; 147

The part of modeling I am feeling the most challenge in currently is how do I take care of myself.  This has also led to examining what was modeled to me in my lifetime, which may be another entry on another day.  But how do we take care of ourselves???  What does healthy selfish look like?  I am still coming to terms with how those two words can even coexist in the same sentence.

Whether you are a “mother” or not, you are mothering someone.  Someone, somewhere is watching how you live and looking up to you for answers.  So how do you model to others that you are taking care of yourself?  Do you consciously make an effort to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?  Do you plan activities, or a lack of activities, into your schedule to be sure you are taken care of, or do you come last on your list every time?

I have caught myself many a time taking the backseat to everyone else.  Then I realized I wasn’t so happy in a few areas of my life.  Yet I chose, yes I CHOSE, to play the role of martyr rather than seek out help for myself.  Finally, once I got sick of that role, I chose to take care of myself.  I planned time with girlfriends.  I scheduled family walks and trips to the zoo.  I talked with a counselor.  I found ways to be creative, since that’s what gives ME life.  And I found ways to help other people, while helping myself.  I love to organize.  So I found a friend who didn’t have time to sort through things for a yard sale (boot sale) and helped out.

I also stopped putting up with things I had put up with before.  My two toddlers no longer got what they wanted when they whined.  Suddenly mommy went deaf, or so they thought, and could only hear BIG words.  I stopped being the person in control of everything, and gave control away, where I didn’t need it.

There are other ways we all take care of ourselves.  I would love to see and hear feedback from others out there as to how you do that.  I know I could use some new ideas and I know God’s given a lot of us different creativity on how to take care of ourselves.  So please leave your comments, long or short.  And please contribute, whether you are a mom or not, female or not.

How do you take care of yourself???  What does healthy selfish look like for you?

Transition has brought me to the place of asking the question, “Who and what do I lean on when the boat is rocking uncontrollably?”  My answers have ranged from myself, food, facebook, and my spouse, to organizing, routine, and at times…God.  Why is it that the one person I know will help me through this (God) is the same one I reject time and time again?  Because I am human.

My impatience to correct all my humanness drives my anxiety higher during these moments.  Why can’t I just get this part of my life correct? Well, if it was humanly possible to “fix” everything in our own lives, then wouldn’t we be able to somehow, eventually, earn our salvation?  And when would we ever need to rely on the “community” of believers?

So, reluctantly, I admit to God, again, that I have screwed up.  The reins have somehow made it back into my hands, and I want to relinquish them, again.  Thankfully He loves us and is always there waiting, each and every time.

I am a work in progress.  We are all works in progress.  Let’s enjoy the process, while we can, and not continually be anxiously awaiting the end result.  It will come soon enough.

In the meantime, as you are in transition, allow God to use it to bring things to the surface that He would like to restore, heal, or even remove from you.  Listen to Him.  He will let you know what and where He would like to work, in your life.  And as He works, you learn to let go of the control sooner, run to Him faster, and transition becomes less frightening and more of a time to see God work in our lives.